What a parent of a person with diabetes wants their child’s significant other to know

what we want in a partner of a person with diabetes

As a parent, there are certain things that I want my son’s significant other to know about diabetes.  My son’s list of important qualities and things that she needs to know is probably quite different.  That list is for another time. This is my list of ideals wants in a partner for a person with diabetes.

I want her to know when my son’s blood glucose levels are out of whack.

In school, he often had teachers who just “knew” when he was out of range. I felt safe because they would make sure that he checked his blood glucose levels and took care of himself.  A partner of a person with diabetes ideally should make a parent feel the same way.

I want her to know to carry glucose with them at all times.

carrying diabetes supplies

A low blood glucose level can seemingly come out of nowhere.  My son keeps some treats on him but we all know how easy it can be to run out at the most inopportune moments.  His ideal partner, for me, would be a gal who recognizes this and carries a bag filled with candies easily accessible in her purse.

My son would be happy if she carried all of his supplies in her purse too but as I said, that’s a different wish list.

I would love to see his lifelong partner remind him to test at night or at least wake him when he seems restless and out-of-range.

My son doesn’t currently have a CGM.  He once relied on his mother’s inability to sleep to keep him safe overnight.  Now that he lives on his own, he wakes himself at night to test.  I know that he would love to have a break now and again.  A person who would help him at night would be a blessing for both of us.

I want to see his partner know how to help him on days that diabetes is too much.

As much as helping my son at night would be wonderful, we all know that there are days that we just don’t want to diabetes.  When he lived at home, my son would some days just simply hand everything over to me for a day and I would deal with it.  I would count carbs, bolus and test.

I don’t know if he would still want that sort of full-on break but I know he still prefers someone else to put in new infusion sets.  It would be nice to know that she cared enough to learn about his care and help him where he needed it.

I want her to know that diabetes is part of his life but it isn’t what defines him.

Finally, as much as diabetes can be overwhelming and time-consuming, it doesn’t define my son.  I would love to see his life-partner understand this.  I want her to love him for the incredible, handsome, quirky guy he is.

Diabetes is a lot of hard work.  I want her to understand this but not be deterred by it.  It will mess with their schedule.  It may impact his mood but he is strong and deserves only the most loving and supportive partner.  In return, she will get a pretty amazing guy.

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5 thoughts on “What a parent of a person with diabetes wants their child’s significant other to know”

  1. But most important I woudl want her to love him low, high and in between. After all things are always moving in direction or another. Frankly my wife had to learn that there was no perfect. We move even when others are sitting still.

      1. You can become too tolerant and too complacent though. I should have “ratted out” or “turned in” my dh years before he got the bg monitor, the pump and the cgms. I would have gotten back the lovely man I married in August of 1980 a lot sooner or I would have been a widow sooner. It’s pretty well impossible to control bg without the technology and the quicker the Provinces realize that simple fact the better. . . The Ontario government is not moving quickly on paying for cgms for all t1ds who need the technology. Shame on it!

  2. An interesting blog for Valentine’s Day! I’d say somebody in the family touched by type 1 diabetes had better keep current on new technologies , new insulins, new precription drugs, new techniques and had better know what technologies and medicines have fallen by the wayside.

  3. We just got the auto-mode for the 670 G going on Feb. 14,2019! I see today (Feb. 15, 2019) that the FDA has given an approval for a more customizable pump from Tandem. More will be coming on the market. Maybe, your boy’s significant other will be able to relax a little more and let the intelligent pump do what she or he used to do. LOL! I slept really well last night because the 670 G in automode is doing its job. (We may need to do some tweaking in the near of future.)

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