The other night was night two of tossing and turning which in itself is not entirely unusual. This night was different though. I was completely tired and ready to drop.
I had read a few pages of my book, done some relaxation exercises but sleep would not come. After awhile anxiety began to creep in. I tossed and turned some more. My mind began to take off on its own. There was no way to reel it back in.
I thought of my oldest son living up in Alberta. Had he been injured at work? I would have heard if he had. I tried to shut my mind down again. I tossed and turned some more. I thought of my youngest son. Was he testing at night? Was he in trouble? Had something happened? I again worked to calm myself down. Both boys, or someone around them, would have contacted me if there was a problem. I was being foolish. I was overtired. I had too much on the go. I had too much time on my hands. There were a million reasons for me to be tossing and turning. Driving myself insane was in no way helping the situation. By 2am I finally fell asleep.
When I got up the next morning, I wondered if this had just been a reaction to so many years of interrupted sleep. Was my body going through some sort of withdrawal? It has not slept through the night for any extended period in 20 years. There was bound to be some issues at some point. I decided that I would try herbal tea with my book the next night. All would be fine. My kids were still alive. No friends or family had been injured during the night. Obviously my anxiety was unwarranted. It was probably just my body being strange….and then I talked to my youngest son.
After a bit of chatter, I asked him how his readings were. “Good except for last night. I was up all night because of a bad site. I got it fixed though and was perfect during the day.” BINGO! There was the source of my anxiety! He was in trouble the night before. Well not trouble, but you know what I mean.
I have spent almost 14 years somehow waking to most diabetes related events. I would wake at unexplained times when he was low or high. Something would bring me out of a deep sleep and make me test him. We have no CGM. I just somehow often “knew“. Perhaps this knowing did not know distance? I am not sure. Some people would say that I was crazy and this was just a coincidence. It could be. I am not sure but I do know that I slept a little easier the next night. Any tossing and turning I experienced that night didn’t have a higher level of anxiety attached. As long as my son is also waking and dealing with things…well I will probably always worry and be concerned but hopefully I will find a level of calm. If I don’t, I will text!