Psychic Connection?

The other night was night two of tossing and turning which in itself is not entirely unusual. This night was different though.  I was completely tired and ready to drop.

I had read a few pages of my book, done some relaxation exercises but sleep would not come.  After awhile anxiety began to creep in. I tossed and turned some more.  My mind began to take off on its own. There was no way to reel it back in.

I thought of my oldest son living up in Alberta.  Had he been injured at work? I would have heard if he had. I tried to shut my mind down again. I tossed and turned some more.  I thought of my youngest son. Was he testing at night? Was he in trouble? Had something happened? I again worked to calm myself down. Both boys, or someone around them, would have contacted me if there was a problem.  I was being foolish.  I was overtired. I had too much on the go. I had too much time on my hands.  There were a million reasons for me to be tossing and turning. Driving myself insane was in no way helping the situation. By 2am I finally fell asleep.

When I got up the next morning, I wondered if this had just been a reaction to so many years of interrupted sleep.  Was my body going through some sort of withdrawal? It has not slept through the night for any extended period in 20 years.  There was bound to be some issues at some point. I decided that I would try herbal tea with my book the next night.  All would be fine. My kids were still alive. No friends or family had been injured during the night. Obviously my anxiety was unwarranted. It was probably just my body being strange….and then I talked to my youngest son.

After a bit of chatter, I asked him how his readings were.  “Good except for last night. I was up all night because of a bad site.  I got it fixed though and was perfect during the day.” BINGO! There was the source of my anxiety!  He was in trouble the night before.  Well not trouble, but you know what I mean.

I have spent almost 14 years somehow waking to most diabetes related events. I would wake at unexplained times when he was low or high.  Something would bring me out of a deep sleep and make me test him.  We have no CGM.  I just somehow often “knew“.  Perhaps this knowing did not know distance?  I am not sure. Some people would say that I was crazy and this was just a coincidence.  It could be. I am not sure but I do know that I slept a little easier the next night.  Any tossing and turning  I experienced that night didn’t have a higher level of anxiety attached.  As long as my son is also waking and dealing with things…well I will probably always worry and be concerned but hopefully I will find a level of calm. If I don’t, I will text! psychic 

New Challenges

Someone asked me to continue to update my experience has a mother of a teen with diabetes who is living elsewhere.  Let me say its a bigger challenge than having him live here!

There are definitely growing pains.  As a mom, I miss having my sons around me. I actually do wake up during the night and feel lost because there is no one to test or check on. I would gladly teleport myself to some of you sleep deprived parents but unfortunately the only things that I really can do is roll over and hope he is okay where he is.

My son on the other hand seems to be loving not having Mom hover over him and what teen wouldn’t? The rules are very different for him now and he is enjoying it to the extreme I am sure.  A friend reminded me recently that even when children are away from their parents and thinking about doing a certain behavior, often Mom or Dad’s voice is still nagging in the back of their head and they may be a bit more cautious because “what if Mom/Dad found out? They would kill me!” I hope this is the case with my boys…well you know that they continue to have some common sense because its not like I would really “kill” them exactly…

Obviously with a mom who likes to be hands on and get things done and a 16 year old who is loving being away from that, there are challenges. Oh are there challenges!!  Bringing my expectations down to a reasonable level is very, very difficult and in part only done with the help of great friends.

While we do text daily I make sure that diabetes is not often the topic of conversation. We talk like, school and diabetes if he has an issue that needs to be dealt with right away. We have however agreed to sit down and chat about diabetes specifically once per week. We chose Wednesday nights.

The first week this worked perfectly.  He uploaded his pump. I looked at the data, formed my questions and was able to be calm by the time we talked. All worked out really well. The next week I had to be away on the Wednesday so we chatted Tuesday. There were a few more issues. We spoke of what to do when type situations arose. It went okay.  This week, well its been three weeks. The shine was going to wear off of things right?

Yesterday I sent him a message reminding him of our “date”.  I told him to upload his pump when he got home from school so that I wouldn’t keep him up late. Last time he had had computer issues and it took forever to even look at the data. When he got home he sent me a message telling me that the remote for his pump still didn’t work. What??? Had he called the support people? Of course not.  He was waiting for Mom to do this. Mom agreed.

I told him to call me after his supper and we would call pump support. I would keep him on one phone and call the support people on the other so that I could ask him whatever they asked me.  I ate my supper and waited…and I waited…and I waited. It turned out that heading out with a friend for the night was way more important than Mom or a pump issue.  At 11:30pm I told him to take pictures of the back of the pump and the remote, send me details and I would deal with it in the morning. We would also talk pump the next afternoon BEFORE he got busy with other things.

After a bit of troubleshooting on my part, I got his remote working again.  There is definitely an issue so I am waiting for pump support to return my call.

Balancing 16 year old freedom, Mom control and Mom letting go is definitely difficult.  This may be one of the biggest challenges I have faced in a very, very long time.  Its a good thing I have a great relationship with my hairdresser. I may need a lot of hair color to get me through!

A reminder to myself. I may need to post it on a wall somewhere.
A reminder to myself. I may need to post it on a wall somewhere.