What a parent of a person with diabetes wants their child’s significant other to know

what we want in a partner of a person with diabetes

As a parent, there are certain things that I want my son’s significant other to know about diabetes.  My son’s list of important qualities and things that she needs to know is probably quite different.  That list is for another time. This is my list of ideals wants in a partner for a person with diabetes.

I want her to know when my son’s blood glucose levels are out of whack.

In school, he often had teachers who just “knew” when he was out of range. I felt safe because they would make sure that he checked his blood glucose levels and took care of himself.  A partner of a person with diabetes ideally should make a parent feel the same way.

I want her to know to carry glucose with them at all times.

carrying diabetes supplies

A low blood glucose level can seemingly come out of nowhere.  My son keeps some treats on him but we all know how easy it can be to run out at the most inopportune moments.  His ideal partner, for me, would be a gal who recognizes this and carries a bag filled with candies easily accessible in her purse.

My son would be happy if she carried all of his supplies in her purse too but as I said, that’s a different wish list.

I would love to see his lifelong partner remind him to test at night or at least wake him when he seems restless and out-of-range.

My son doesn’t currently have a CGM.  He once relied on his mother’s inability to sleep to keep him safe overnight.  Now that he lives on his own, he wakes himself at night to test.  I know that he would love to have a break now and again.  A person who would help him at night would be a blessing for both of us.

I want to see his partner know how to help him on days that diabetes is too much.

As much as helping my son at night would be wonderful, we all know that there are days that we just don’t want to diabetes.  When he lived at home, my son would some days just simply hand everything over to me for a day and I would deal with it.  I would count carbs, bolus and test.

I don’t know if he would still want that sort of full-on break but I know he still prefers someone else to put in new infusion sets.  It would be nice to know that she cared enough to learn about his care and help him where he needed it.

I want her to know that diabetes is part of his life but it isn’t what defines him.

Finally, as much as diabetes can be overwhelming and time-consuming, it doesn’t define my son.  I would love to see his life-partner understand this.  I want her to love him for the incredible, handsome, quirky guy he is.

Diabetes is a lot of hard work.  I want her to understand this but not be deterred by it.  It will mess with their schedule.  It may impact his mood but he is strong and deserves only the most loving and supportive partner.  In return, she will get a pretty amazing guy.

The Disability Tax Credit for Adults…What you need to know

Disability Tax Credit tips

The Disability Tax Credit is a non-refundable tax credit available to Canadians who meet very strict criteria set out by the Canadian Revenue Agency.

One of the criteria is that you must take over 14 hours per week to perform life-sustaining therapy. This is the section that many people living with diabetes qualify under.  Before you apply there are a few things that you need to know.

Having diabetes doesn’t mean that you qualify.

Not everyone with diabetes will qualify for the Disability Tax Credit (DTC).  The criteria states that children with Type 1 diabetes do qualify based on diagnosis alone. Adults (anyone over 18 years of age) however, must show that they spend over 14 hours per week on their care.

Take our quick quiz to see if you might qualify.

Why do children get the DTC so easily?

toddler from Diabetes Advocacy

The reason that children qualify for the Disability Tax Credit is because CRA feels that the time that they spend on their care AND the time that their parents spend on their care, together is equal to more than 14 hours per week.  Adults do not require the help of others for the most part. They, therefore, must prove that they, themselves spend over 14 hours per week on therapy to keeping themselves alive.

Get our workbook to see if you spend over 14 hours per week on eligible tasks. 

Do I really spend 14 hours per week keeping myself alive?

That is a question that only you can answer.  I will say that if you are intensively managing your diabetes, then more than likely, you do take an inordinate amount of time out of your day to manage your diabetes care.

A person who is not reliant on an external source of insulin to live does not have to be concerned about blood glucose readings, anticipated activity levels, impending illness,  or fat contents of meals when planning their day to day activities.  The average person does not have to draw up a syringe, put in an infusion set or calibrate a continuous glucose monitoring sensor.  A person without diabetes does not have to keep track of their insulin requirements, blood glucose levels or activity levels in a journal.

These tasks are commonplace for a person with diabetes. They are also all tasks that are recognized by CRA and count towards the 14 hour total required to be certified for the Disability Tax Credit as requiring life-sustaining therapy.

I hear that adults no longer qualify so why should I try?

diabetes is hard Diabetes Advocacy

Some adults are experiencing a harder time getting the tax credit.  There can be many reasons for your application being denied.  You may be including tasks that are not recognized by CRA as being an allowable part of therapy.  Things like grocery shopping, doctors appointments and trips to the pharmacy are not allowed to be included in your total.

Another reason that adults are being turned down is that they are not providing enough details on their own specific care.   Use the information found online and in groups as a guideline. You should then fill out the T2201 application in your own words with your own specific care details.  

Final thoughts

final thoughts from Diabetes Advocacy

Make your application your own.  Spend one week detailing what you do each day.  It will take you time to stop and write everything down but it will be worth it.  Time each task.  Note how often you perform it. If you have trouble deciding what to document, our workbook or spreadsheet might help you.

Take this week’s worth of information and then compare it to your online resources.  Eliminate the tasks that CRA won’t approve.  Add in the tasks that you did but forgot to add in your personal list.  Now total your time spent.  

Most likely, you will find that you spend more than 14 hours per week on your care.  This data can also be shared with your doctor at your appointment. It will help he/she understand who much time you do put into your care.  This will further be of use if he/she if they receive a follow-up letter from CRA asking for more details on your care.

Adults with insulin dependent diabetes who test regularly (6+ times per week), who inject insulin multiple times per day through injections or an insulin pump, and make their own adjustments to their insulin regimen should apply for the Disability Tax Credit.  If you are turned down, you have the right to ask for your application to be approved by another CRA staff member. Sometimes the second review still does not turn out in your favour but don’t despair. At that point,  you have the right to see all correspondence used in your file and begin a formal appeal process.

If you are unsure of how to fill in your application or you just want someone to review your totals, I can assist you. Email me , check out the Disability Tax Credit page or check out our helpful downloads for more information.

Diabetes still isn’t sexy!

Happy Canada to all!! Here is one of my favorite posts inspired by a great parent of a child with diabetes….

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Everyone knows about breast cancer. If you are a woman like me, you fear it.  Everyone knows pink.  Everyone knows about losing a breast, chemotherapy and all of the other nasty things that come along with that horrible word–cancer.

November is Diabetes Awareness month. Very few know about diabetes.  Most people think it happens to someone else.  They don’t think its serious.  They are not sure if the awareness color is blue or grey…and aren’t really that concerned.  They know about blindness and amputation but that is not a given so its really not that big of a deal.

Its the ignorance of the disease that is frustrating.  The “its no big deal.” and “You worry too much.” comments that kill you.  I recently had a teacher ask me if we could arrange my child’s highs and lows around an exam schedule.  She was well meaning and very sincere.  She thought that perhaps with warning of when a test was coming, that we could make sure that my son did not go high or low during that time. She was told by myself and one of her colleagues that it didn’t work that way. 

It is hard to make people “see” what those of us who live with diabetes in our lives 24/7 “see” each day.  They don’t understand why we test during the night and deprive ourselves of much needed rest.  They haven’t had a friend not wake up from diabetes.  They don’t understand how quickly a low comes on even after you have recently tested.  They haven’t seen a child pass out in the middle of a playground because they went low and didn’t know how to tell you.  They don’t understand why we are so fearful of ketones.  They haven’t seen the how quickly they attack our loved ones leaving them weak, frail, and clinging to life and how long it takes to get rid of them. 

To most people, diabetes is that disease where you can’t have sugar (I mean its called “the sugar” isn’t it?).  Its that disease that Grandma had but she liked to sneak cookies so its no wonder she went blind. Its not like cancer or a serious disease. No one dies from diabetes.  Parents who test, hover, and want you learn about that thing called Glucagon are just those overprotective people who need to learn how to let their kids just be kids.

I don’t know how to get the majority to understand.  As someone recently said, diabetes is not sexy.  It is not a disease about pretty pink ribbons and cleavage.  Its a disease that is grey and about blood.  There is nothing attractive about diabetes.  You can’t see a pancreas.  Don’t get me wrong. I am very attached to my breasts and would love a day when we don’t have to worry about breast cancer but after years of being my son’s pancreas? Well, it may not be a sexy organ and it may not have any appeal to the general public but I guarantee it has my utmost respect and I would not want to lose it either.

So what is the answer? How do get more people to understand? We keep going as we are and then some.  We advocate. We educate. We communicate.  We teach those who want to learn.  We tolerate some ignorance and try to help them to understand what this disease is really about. Its a long road. Its frustrating at times but with each person who learns the reality? Well its another person who wants a cure almost as much as those of us who live with it.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Everyone knows about breast cancer. If you are a woman like me, you fear it.  Everyone knows pink.  Everyone knows about losing a breast, chemotherapy and all of the other nasty things that come along with that horrible word–cancer.

November is Diabetes Awareness month. Very few know about diabetes.  Most people think it happens to someone else.  They don’t think its serious.  They are not sure if the awareness color is blue or grey…and aren’t really that concerned.  They know about blindness and amputation but that is not a given so its really not that big of a deal.

Its the ignorance of the disease that is frustrating.  The “its no big deal.” and “You worry too much.” comments that kill you.  I recently had a teacher ask me if we could arrange my child’s highs and lows around an exam schedule.  She was well meaning and very sincere.  She thought that perhaps with warning of when a test was coming, that we could make sure that my son did not go high or low during that time. She was told by myself and one of her colleagues that it didn’t work that way. 

It is hard to make people “see” what those of us who live with diabetes in our lives 24/7 “see” each day.  They don’t understand why we test during the night and deprive ourselves of much needed rest.  They haven’t had a friend not wake up from diabetes.  They don’t understand how quickly a low comes on even after you have recently tested.  They haven’t seen a child pass out in the middle of a playground because they went low and didn’t know how to tell you.  They don’t understand why we are so fearful of ketones.  They haven’t seen the how quickly they attack our loved ones leaving them weak, frail, and clinging to life and how long it takes to get rid of them. 

To most people, diabetes is that disease where you can’t have sugar (I mean its called “the sugar” isn’t it?).  Its that disease that Grandma had but she liked to sneak cookies so its no wonder she went blind. Its not like cancer or a serious disease. No one dies from diabetes.  Parents who test, hover, and want you learn about that thing called Glucagon are just those overprotective people who need to learn how to let their kids just be kids.

I don’t know how to get the majority to understand.  As someone recently said, diabetes is not sexy.  It is not a disease about pretty pink ribbons and cleavage.  Its a disease that is grey and about blood.  There is nothing attractive about diabetes.  You can’t see a pancreas.  Don’t get me wrong. I am very attached to my breasts and would love a day when we don’t have to worry about breast cancer but after years of being my son’s pancreas? Well, it may not be a sexy organ and it may not have any appeal to the general public but I guarantee it has my utmost respect and I would not want to lose it either.

So what is the answer? How do get more people to understand? We keep going as we are and then some.  We advocate. We educate. We communicate.  We teach those who want to learn.  We tolerate some ignorance and try to help them to understand what this disease is really about. Its a long road. Its frustrating at times but with each person who learns the reality? Well its another person who wants a cure almost as much as those of us who live with it.